Infidelity within the couple, why does it arise? It’s never a coincidence. All couples who live it are, for the majority of them, couples who fail to cross the stage of life in the growth curve of the couple. Is infidelity always synonymous with rupture? Or can it help strengthen sydney couples program the couple? In which cases does the infidelity finally revive the flame and allow the couple to start on a good basis?
Florence Escaravage, founder of Love Intelligence and creator of the Fantastic Couple program to reconnect as a couple, explains why infidelity happens and how it can sometimes be a parenthesis, even terrible, that revives the couple.
When the state of love fades …
We fall in love with our partner because during the meeting begins the state of love, the first stage of the couple. It is love at first sight, the period of seduction, the magnetic attraction between the two lovebirds that are discovered. Everyone gets to know each other and the libido of the young couple is at the top. Life is beautiful, we live with love and fresh water, everything is beautiful and pink sydney couples program But all good things come to an end! And the couple, who evolves according to 5 stages , must cross the next 4 stages to reach that of the full-blown couple.
… and leaves room for disillusionment and confrontation
So when stage 1 ends, stage 2 begins, that of doubts and disillusions, essential stage to love ourselves with our true natures.
The couple, hitherto idealized, begins to doubt (and this is natural!) Its compatibility and asks many questions. If the couple survives this period of doubt, it takes another step: stage 3. This is the stage of confrontations where both partners learn to live together. Each defends his way of doing, thinking, his vision of the couple and tries to impose its operation on the other. This phase of disputes is necessary so that everyone finds his place fairly within the couple.
When the couple stagnates at stage 3
However, the majority of couples stagnate at this stage because, for many, it is difficult to question themselves. To reach stage 4 which is that of the blossoming and the growth, it is necessary to manage to “think the couple” from the angle of the growth, that is to say to always imagine new solutions, as soon as a problem arises, not to try to change the other, but to adopt the reflex of trying to understand it. And it is in the knowledge of oneself and the other that each difficulty or difference is solved.
In short, you will understand, when stagnant at stage 3, it is there most often that infidelity appears. We trimballe his disappointed expectations, each operates with its own operation and we do not understand each other well. Balance sheet? The couple disconnects then, each one remains stuck on its positions. The communication is not as deep as before because one or the other is disappointed because its expectations are not filled. This stage 3 continues, the couple goes around in circles, and then, often, two solutions are needed: infidelity and / or rupture.
Being unfaithful to find his sleepy libido
To deceive his / her partner does not mean not to love him anymore. We must know how to distinguish love and sexuality. But infidelity most common occurring while the couple still love to come to this stage not crossed that leads the couple to find themselves trapped in a routine or a poor communication and sexuality is the first affected.
And as we do not communicate very easily, the couple is struggling to find solutions to renew themselves in matters of sexuality sydney couples program The couple makes the love always in the same way, in the bed conjugal, the week-end, in the same positions and with the same preliminaries … and for one or the other, the act becomes routine, monotonous, boring. Then the sexuality of the couple falls asleep. One of the partners often feels that they are the only one to make an effort. And we do not feel understood. The other does not communicate positively and openly, so the links fade away.
When we are there, we find in infidelity the way to restore our sluggish, compressed libido, it’s like a vital energy that needs to be liberated.